The waiting is nearly insufferable this week. Our dossier has not moved in three months.

I don't want to look at baby clothes anymore.

I don't want to look at an empty room, trying to imagine our daughter sleeping, playing, praying, laughing, looking at me with that growing realization she is really home now...

I don't want to imagine anymore...

what she looks like

what is she doing

is someone holding her, comforting her, loving her right now?


I am tired of answering the same question, over and over and over ....

no news, no picture, not any time soon....

The red thread is stretching, pulling... slipping...


but in these moments, when it feels like I may lose my grip- there is another Hand holding on, too.

A powerful grip that will never let go..